My poor dear suffered a bad day for a tuesday, she was trying to get to one hotel at beach rd called Plaza parkroyal. She walked for so long in the drizzling den heavy rain.. Ended up at the wrong hotel called grand plaza parkroyal instead of Plaza parkroyal... She was drenched of rain n sweat. Even when wan to take a cab, the taxi skidded in front of her n gave her a shock. Din took the cab n walked again....Haiz... I am not a good bf...I couldn't be there for her...

N to make things worst... before this i went to jp to have lunch with her after waking up not long... During n after the lunch i made her more moody.. I had to admit i was still feeling very tired and the tot of having to work night shift is tiring... Before that i sms asked where's her after sch, she said alone going to jp to have lunch. She asked me to rest at home... but of cos i can't bear to let her have lunch alone... This i accompany her not for the sake of lunch or for the sake of eating. I wanted to go because i don want her to eat lunch alone... This kind of feeling sux i know cos i had it before...

I met her at jp and noticed that she was feeling moody.... I din know why... I guess she had a bad day at sch but seems apparently not...So we both had a moody lunch...I was feeling not good cos of it later n i actually wanted to drop off at my stop and go back home to cont my sleep... I tot that a few stops only she might find it ok and ok to let me go back home first cos i don wan to continue with both of us in the moody mood... That pt of time i felt like we both need some time alone. But i was wrong... She was angry when i suggested tat... den again i don wan to leave her alone n so i followed. It was a mistake... i rather i did not follow... At her blk... we parted with unhappiness.I admit i'm angry for i do not know wat was wrong with her. Din sms her at all till 8pm cos i guess we need some time alone... Called her for i did not hear from her only to know what a bad day she had...the heartache was there...Sighz... wanted to have a happy lunch with her intially, yet started with the moodiness. Thus i did things wrong which ended up like this haiz.

Wat matters is will us be happy. I don't club anymore, yes i might miss going drinking with my very good friends.But i chose to drop that hoping we would be happy. How could i forsake her for clubbing... that's y i meet up couple friends together with her to have more time with all. But guess it can't work tat way. I know i can't compare her with any others. I can't expect her to be happy if i go clubbing with my friends n forsake her. If she's were to go clubbing with her friends.. guess i'll go with her or with mine. But i know she don't like going such places. If i am what i used to be... i dare say we won't be happy together at all. So i rather i don go at all. Give and take, yes i said tat before and it doesn't matter who took or gave more.

At times, i am lazy and feeling tired... So i tot spending time with her at home was fine... But can't be like tat all the time. So i do go out with her, just the two of us though a few times with my family for dinners. I tot it was okay... but seems like it should been better just the two of us only. At times, i myself dono what i shd do as well as what i shd feel... If only i can know what' s on her mind all the time.. I would have been the perfect one for her

I do not know what else i should or could say. I only know...

Things i have done for her is not a matter of for the sake or for it being right.
Things i have done is because i wanted to and willingly for it.