Why can't i quit smoking. I really do not want to make the one dearest to me unhappy. It simply seems so hard to quit. It's something that's been with me for over 3 years. Especially when i joined the force. Whenever i got things dono how to do, or too tired to go to work, i will smoke. This had been such a familiar habit and lifestyle. It overwhelms clubbing. I din smoke for a bit more den 12hrs till duing NPP till i kena one missing person which i dono how to do. One is bad but it's three. The stress is there. Long ago i used to say that stress got nothing to do with smoking. But look at me now. I'm such a failure.

Someone's words brought back some of the memories. I used to say things but did not fulfil them. Perhaps u can say i break promises. But i had never make a real promise i meant and breaking it. Especially feelings. Even when i say i will stop smoking, i did mentioned i need time. Some how to her it is a promise. I shdn't have said i will quit. I should make sure that i have done it and then promise. But somehow it seems like external factors are making it hard. I did not mean to not keep my words even for such a thing. I really did not mean to.

I do not know what else i can say, i'm extremely self disappointed. I am loss for words...

alvinsoojunmin
9/23/2005 01:56:00 AM